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The first few days home from the hospital are just as important to you as they are to your baby. As new parents you will have gone through an exciting birth that will have left you breathless and exhilarated. As a new mother you will be emotionally and physically exhausted. As a new father you will be overwhelmed by your new responsibilities. The first days at home are a time to take a deep breath, sit back and relax, and take some time just for you.
During your first days at home it may be wise to limit the amount of visitors that you welcome into your home. Other than your immediate family and good friends you might want to ask other friends to wait a week or two before they descend on you with gifts and wanting to hold the new baby. You need time to recuperate and settle into the routine that a sleeping, feeding, and often crying baby brings into your life.
As a new mother you will need to pay particular attention to the way that you are feeling so that those “baby blues” don’t creep up and surprise you unexpectedly. It is normal to feel a bit out of sorts and sad for the first couple of weeks after giving birth. Your body is going through some major physical changes after the birth of your baby. Your hormones will be changing and you likely will be feeling a lack of sleep. All of this can affect the way that you feel.
You should be patient with yourself, understand that all these feelings are normal, and that in a couple of weeks things will feel better for you. If you find that you are feeling more and more depressed, and find it difficult to care for yourself and your family, you should consult your doctor so that he/she can determine if you are suffering from a condition called postpartum depression.
Symptoms of postpartum depression include:
• Overwhelming feelings of sadness and depression accompanied by crying.
• Having little or no energy.
• Feelings of guilt and worthlessness.
• Having no interest in your baby or being overly concerned and worried about your baby.
• Weight gain accompanied with overeating.
• Weight loss accompanied by not eating.
• Feeling afraid of hurting yourself or your baby.
• Insomnia.
• Oversleeping.
During the first few days at home your family will be adjusting to the additional member of your family. If you have other children at home you may be dealing with feelings of jealousy as the new baby takes center stage. Make sure that you include your other children in the day-to-day activities that are part of the new baby’s routine. Let older children help with diaper changing, feeding, and just sitting and holding the new baby if they are old enough to do so.
This is your time to adjust to the changes in your life and settle into a comfortable routine…..at least for the moment!
Mia LaCron is the founder of 123-baby-quilt-patterns.info - http://www.123-baby-quilt-patterns.info - devoted to helping families care for their new borns.
The big yellow school bus is coming down my road again. The neighborhood kids seem happy. The dogs are not. The kids are no longer around during the day and Jersey is going to drop a little weight without all the treats they have been bringing her this summer. I must admit that when I see the bus, I feel sorry for those poor suckers. And I express my gratitude that I’m no longer going back to school this time of year.
But I am noticing that September stirs in me the urge to learn and do something new. How long do we have to be out of school before we lose the September urge? How long does it take, how many generations must pass, before we lose our agrarian urge to harvest in the fall?
As soon as the days get noticeably shorter, as soon as the nights are a little crisper, and as soon as the big yellow school bus starts appearing in the morning, I get energized to learn. I could tell it was starting last week when I bought a new hiking skirt and a batch of socks. They are soft, fluffy chenille socks. They’re perfect for fall weather and sticking my feet into them makes me feel oh so very good. The urge to write is stronger too. I’ve got more newsletter ideas than I can hold in my little brain so I picked up a batch of 25 yellow legal pads and more pencil lead just for the occasion. And read. Yesterday I went to Amazon.com and ordered ALL the books I’ve had on my wish list for some time. And I’ve bought some new PDF software that I’m now learning as I play with some new coaching offerings. You’d think I was getting ready for school myself. New clothes, new software to learn, new books to read and a writing frenzy. Yup, as much as I think I’ve graduated, the back-to-school syndrome seems to be ingrained in me. I know it’s not just me. My coaching practice always picks up this time of year with new clients wanting to make big changes. I think we’re all ready to learn a little something new about ourselves.
So as 2003 begins to wane, take on some new environments, meet new people, and learn something new while wearing something new.
Between now and winter break, your assignment is to surrender control rather than seize it. Learning is never about taking control, but about letting go and trusting. Since the big yellow bus was a place where we could all go internal, especially on the morning ride when we were not quite awake, put yourself on that bus now. You’re in 3rd or 4th grade and on your way to school. You didn’t ride the bus to school? That’s okay. You can play too. If Mom or Dad drove you, put yourself in the family car. If you walked, imagine yourself on the path. Ask yourself these questions:
What is the one thing I’ve been dreaming about since those bus rides of my childhood; the thing I’ve always wanted to do but have not done yet? Don’t know what that is? Ask a close friend or family member. Ask the person who sat next to you on the bus. They’ll be all to willing to tell you what you’ve been saying for years you’ve wanted to do.
What’s the one thing I loved doing as a childthe thing I wish I were doing instead of riding this busthat I have stopped doing as an adult?
If these take some learning, then get the book or sign up for the class. If they mean buying some supplies, new clothes or gear, get them. Now get on your own Big Yellow Bus and take the ride!
About The Author
Deb Martin is a Transition Coach, coaching individuals to simplify life and business transitions by seeing their brilliance and honing that brilliance. Subscribe to her free e-newsletter, PORTAGE, for insights designed to help you feel and act differently in order to attract what you want, naturally. Please visit her web site at: http://www.portagecoach.com to subscribe.
deb@portagecoach.com
There are two broad approaches that parents can adopt with kids fighting - become involved or remain neutral. Your approach will depend on the age, maturity and ability of your children to sort out their own problems, your ability to ignore noise and your beliefs about how conflict should be resolved.
Australian psychologist and parenting authority Dr. Maurice Balson in his book Becoming Better Parents recommends that parents leave children to resolve their own disputes. He says, “If parents ignored sibling fighting and left children free to settle their own disputes, the incidence of fighting would decrease.”
Balson maintains that kids fighting is for the benefit of their parents and when we intervene to adjudicate or punish the guilty child we are doing exactly what the children want us to do.
This approach makes a great deal of sense, but as most parents know, some fights are impossible to ignore particularly when they happen under your nose.
If this is the case make a swift retreat when children fight or invite them to resolve their noisy disputes outside. Many parents have found that arguing and fighting practically disappears when children are consistently shown the door to the backyard.
Children often need parental assistance to help them resolve their disputes amicably.
When children want you to intervene in their disagreements let them know that you are willing to help them work out a solution, but avoid taking sides. Establish what the fight is about, rather than who started it, and offer suggestions to resolve the issue.
Of course you cannot sit down and work through every issue with kids, but through meetings or discussions you can at least give them some guidelines that they may use themselves. But don’t expect children to suddenly sit down and discuss every dispute with Buddha-like wisdom if they have hurled insults at each other for years. Be realistic and look for small improvements.
If you do intervene in kids fighting make sure that you get in early before a full-scale fight occurs. Be assertive, make them aware that they are arguing and inform them of its affect on you. Invite them to either stop fighting or continue the dispute elsewhere.
If you are concerned that one child is being victimised or singled out by other siblings discuss some survival strategies such as going to their bedroom at the first sign of a fight or even moving close to a parent if safety is an issue. Often the victims give as good as they receive when families fight and can sometimes be the instigators of disputes.
Don’t be too perturbed if your children argue and fight with each other at the drop of a hat. Some of the closest adult families admit to habitually fighting when they were children. And some young siblings I know are affectionate to each other one minute and ready to fight tooth and nail the next. Let’s face it, children are hard to fathom at the best of times and down-right impossible when they fight.
One simple preventative strategy is the use of regular team briefs. Once a week parents sit with their children in a quiet place and discuss family issues and concerns as well as talk about positive things that have happened in the past week. Invariably kids conflict and issues kids fight about are raised. This gives children both a voice and parents an opportunity to teach children how to resolve conflict reasonably and quietly. My research shows that families that have a conflict resolution process in place, such as team briefs or family meetings experience a significant reduction in kids fighting.
Michael Grose is a popular parenting educator and parent coach. He is the director of Parent Coaching Australia, the author of six books for parents and a popular presenter who speaks to audiences in Australian Singapore and the USA. For free courses and resources to help you raise happy kids and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au.
For greater understanding of why kids fight and how you can dramatically reduce the amount and intensity of fighting read One Step Ahead: A guide to raising 3 to 12 year olds by Michael Grose. Order your copy at http://www.parentingideas.com.au.
The method know as three dimensional ultrasound is that can be used when a woman is in early pregnancy, it provides 3d pictures of the unborn baby. Most of the time these images are captured and combined and animated to make a 4d ultrasound scan.
Three dimensional scanning works in a similar manner to the normal ultrasound methods except that the ultrasound pulses can be sent from multiple directions. The ultrasound pulses can be reflected back and captured and provide information to construct a 3-dimensional image in very much the same way as 3d movies. 3 dimesional ultasound scanning was first developed by olaf von ramm and stephen smith in america.
It is important to understand that sonologists around the world always pictured three-dimensional images of anatomy or pathology in their minds while carrying out 2d scans. However, until recently it was almost impossibel to do this kind of reconstruction on patient data acquired using ultasound scanning. With the advent of 4d scans for the first time allowed us a view into the brain of a sonologist and so letting us see the images on the ultrasound machine.
The 3d/4d ultrasound image should utilize ultrasound energy following the same limits as conventional 2d ultrasound to create the 3d images. While there is no information of harm due to 3d ultasound scanning, its use in none medical situations needs to be undertaken with an understanding of the risks involved.